@Cameltoga's timeline on Twitter
Tweets
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Grape Soduh or Abe Vigoda? "Baaaaaa! Humbug."
#thatswhatcheapsheepsaid -
Power went out briefly in the storm earlier, thus the war against my tolerance for blinking clocks is renewed
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*hum* I'd like to teach the world to tweet, in perfect harmony. Where all that shared and all that cared, would love eternally. *ahhh*
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TURTLE. Do you know what keeps the moon up? ME. Boy, you're stupid.
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A vision of such grotesque stature, nightmare beasts quiver and ghouls flail in fright. What do you mean, I didn't get the modelling job?
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nobody tells the moon to get a real job
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A whole empty parking lot, yet I've got people parked on either side of me. This is why I pour salad dressing on the conveyor belts.
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maybe learning to say "i like women" in klingon is the only way to survive
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I can grasp the fringes of quantum physics but bill payment deadlines seem entirely relative to me and thus escape any urgent action.
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If you wanna change the world you better bring enough wipes. That shit is caked on mighty thick.
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Men, take note, if you're handsome you're "flirting with her", if you're not, you're "being a creep".
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not even noon and i've pissed off another family member. they're dropping like freakin flies.
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Some people draw strength from sacred places residing deep within each one of you. Keep your light shining to guide them home.
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I play guitar, get a stupid ass thought, stop, & tweet it. I'm having my own personal episode of Hee Haw.
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Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no ones definition of your life, define yourself~H Firestone
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for being my one true constant companion in life my fuckin *HeadSpace* sure likes to fuck my shit up nothing wrong well fuck gotta get on it
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I wonder if people in biblical times held their slingshots all sideways gangster like?
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I don't have a Twitter crush. You know, 'cause I'm not insane.
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The message "99% download complete", cheers you up only for the first 2 hours.
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Decent road head was just impossible in that stupid car. - the Pope
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I take a Star to mean any of: Funny Sad Thinking of you I agree I don't agree, but good point I appreciate your mental illness Other stuff
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Out here in the woods, we only eat what we catch ourselves. Marco....
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If we all had someone in our lives to keep telling us, "there's nothing wrong with you," this would probably be a better world.
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Skrillex's real name is Skrillexander.
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The best is when someone repeats back to me what I just said and my response is what the hell are you talking about?
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GOOD-LOOKING COWORKER. So you've never gotten along with your turtle? ME. It all started when he got a subscription to a bachelor magazine.
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I just ate 9 devilled eggs at work. Come pull my finger.
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find what's good in the mythology find what's wise find what's honorable find what's love
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Everyone's talking about exams next week and the future and I'm just counting on my looks after college.
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I want funnier problems.
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I'm not going to tell anyone how to do twitter, discover and learn as in real life but don't give up.
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If my coffee cup leaks on me one more fuckin time I'm kick stompin it straight to shit...
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If I watch what you do, it's voyeurism. If I watch while eating popcorn, it's entertainment.
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If we used our words more often for good things, what a wonderful place this could be.
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Why not Atlas *Hugged*? C'mon, Rand!
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My problems felt insecure & they asked reinforcements.
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i would give you a hermit crab in the palm of your hand still a little wet from crawling on wet rocks if that would make you feel better
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When is it ever a good idea for anything?
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Could someone please come and save me right now? Please? Anyone. I'll fuck you like you're on death row. Seriously.
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Once I stood in front of a red bricked house and left when someone threw a brick-full of weird glances.
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So Tumblr is working for you all and not me? What can I say - most people do like to go down on me for a little longer than most.
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kinda weirded out by cold bean dip but i'm eating it anyway
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We stayed at a Motel 5, oh yeah a 6, whatever. And we rented a Ford, oh yeah a Chevy, whatever. Would you like to tell the fuckin story?
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Get off Twitter, dumbass! Could one of you retweet this into my timeline?
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C'mon, you guys. You gotta admit that hipsters are fucking ADORABLE!
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Sitting on a tail doesn't guarantee its going to stop wagging.
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Adding a dumb ass comment to your hundred year old tweet is my super power. I'm not any happier about it than you are ..!..
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I’m not sendin'sub tweets.I’m a misunderstood person,like Donald Trump.....The man just tryin'to fix a rockabilly haircut with the wrong way
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Looking back, I think it was my failure to get his Star Wars reference that put the final nail in that particular coffin. There is no try.
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If your values supercede your lust for stars (validation) you are my kind of people.
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When you see someone wronged, help make it right, before it happens to you.
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I think that thing which I thought was personal growth has become ingrown. It starts to hurt now when I go to leap tall buildings.
#tbot -
~ There're two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. - Edith Wharton ♥
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Nine times out of 10, the beat around the bush is hip-hop. However, the tenth time is mulberry.
#ftwot -
Over the counter medications for severe mental disturbances would take out the embarrassing necessity for a full evaluation by a doctor.
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Defend you? Pfft. Not if it'll cost me my Favstar status.
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And, of course, the greatest TV rerun mystery of all: Was Mrs. Kotter's real name Bailey Quarters?
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After studying world history all afternoon, it occurred to me, once condensed, it's all basically just the pilot episode of Jackass.
#ftwot -
I was tweetin' 'bout dragons before it was cool.
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Finally ordered the vagina-shaped beret I've been dreaming of getting. Still haven't decided on how I'm going to tilt it yet, though.
#tbot -
Was making good time cruising down the highway to hell. Ran into construction. Traffic got diverted. Now, I'm late for appointment.
#tbot -
Was reading, "You Can Heal Your Life," by Louise Hay. 'Diddle yer skittle' was cure for her migraines. Must be a new medical term.
#tbot -
I probably shouldn’t wipe that one on my clothes. Whether I will or not.. Only the future knows.
#tbot -
Bacon and bikini, basically, both have this tweet in common. For now. Until I figure out what else it is, or that lab calls me back.
#tbot -
A fresh, hot-diggity wiener dog burrito lust-crushed on me, but I saved her to savor for later.. Because our puppy love was illegal.
#tbot -
You’re the only one whose hair I hold back, you know, so.. if that doesn’t show that I think you’re special, I dunno what special is.
#tbot -
I love vegetables. Used to be one. Lately having vocabulary difficulties describing my magic beanstalk. Yes, I know it's a legume.
#tbot -
Thongs date back to Roman times when Caligula's posse called them cameltogas based on song sung by nomad chick named Sand Fran Sisqo.
#tbot -
“The past has no power over the present moment.” ― Eckhart Tolle ♥
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I sweet-talk your umbrella. I say I want candy. I want to taste the rainbowwowow.
#tbot -
I'd relish life more if I wasn't so allergic to the smell of pickled pickles.
#tbot -
Whatever is going to happen will happen, whether we worry or not. - Ana Monnar ♥
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My goal is to keep tweeting bullshit until I lose all 3600 Twitter followers.
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~ The best of times is now. ~Oprah Winfrey ♥
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ThePoint of no return,hasn't warning signs when U passin'it Sometimes it has smilin'faces knocking on your back with compliment,but no signs
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~ "The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any." ~ Alice Walker
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To the kid driving the red Mercury Cougar with the pink "Will take a mustache ride" bumper sticker: What's your mom's Twitter handle?
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Haha me giving relationship advice. But this is gold. Couples considering social media? One go to FB, other to twitter and never cross over.
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Licked lips & winked at Father Tom on my way into mass. As I was passing him, he hooked my arm & whispered,"That'll be 5 Hail Mary's Kathy."
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Just opened a package that had yards & yards of bubble wrap .. so it looks like my day is totally filled now
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unbearable means you can't do it without a bear so get a bear duh
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Are Zebras really a different animal? Or are they just horses making a fashion statement?
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This account may tweet stupid shit but you really never know who you are actually following. Music is a serious endeavor here.
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I could be forced with having to steal an identity to supplement my retirement, or form a gang of old people to rig bingos.
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Some people tweet as if they're holding the immunity idol or some shit.
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I fell in-love all over again with someone I am already madly in-love with & broke my hip. Kidding, I was trying to to do a keg stand.
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U can't hide your issues with laughter & jokes but it sure is fun making fun of them & making others laugh. Plus, the material is priceless
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Everyone's happy in the perfect world of hold music, blissfully existing with smiles on their faces & warm accepting hearts.
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In Hell, everyone will be asking " Was it something I tweeted?".
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I'm in love with the mango.
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Listening to Taylor Swift while drooling over beautiful pictures of Kristen Stewart on tumblr. Because fuck mainstream hating.
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I'd definitely bang Chewbacca.
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It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to. - W.C. Fields
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You know that shit you heard that can ruin your whole day? Fuck that shit :)
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attn radio nowhere requesting frogs over
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I’m in the mood to RT all kinds of stupid shit.
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anyone can learn from their mistakes, i like to be different.
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I've already eaten my monthly allotment of nuts.
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Wash this thing away twitter.
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Don't blame the sandwich.
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Im fucking digging in this tweet barrel and its fucking empty! Who's turn was it to refill the fucking tweet barrel??
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One secret to lasting relationships is a high concentration of movie watching, hours of ignoring each other, and liberal use of the word Huh
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CNN reports Twitter to be bought by Disney. Just kidding... or am I?
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I’ve got 99 problems, and 92 of them are related to customers asking me questions about Dr. Who
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I do not exist to tweet about ground flying squirrels.
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*punches every parody account*
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Wearing healing crystals & magnets. Next up, i staple dreamcatchers to my nipples!
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You're all silly. And I like it. And love most of you. So shut it poopy head Xxx
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Isn't it refreshing to know that we will all go down in history as the great philosophers of our time?
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Why doesn't McDonald's have onion rings? Also, Ross was my least favorite Friend.
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The main reason I like to RT, is to remind you that I have good taste.
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i learned quickly that you say ok when someone asks how you are and not numb
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Take a deep breath.. we're all in this together.
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Today's "To Do" list looks remarkably and suspiciously like the one I had for yesterday...
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As it turns out, I wasn't ready for all that jelly.
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It's a peculiar theology, but I believe one day I'll be reunited with all my lost tweets.
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Watching people see how close they can park to go hike a mountain.
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I play dumb so the work in my life gets done for me "Here, let me show you how to do it" never gets old. *Side note-I didn't even type this
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Just put on Game of Thrones for the 1st time. Just changed Game of Thrones.
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So this 2 Chainz guy wears 2 chains. It all makes so much sense now!
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The shadow I just saw of a bird flying over my head indicates either that condors have come to Ontario, or, here there be dragons.
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You gotta love manatees harder, man.
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It wasn't until he saw a boat full of animals that God realized some asshole left the water running.
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Can't honestly say I love anyone of you. But I do respect and appreciate everyone of you. Except you trolls. Fuck you guys.
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Let's remember. Unless you're wearing the panties or lack thereof I'm the boss. The shirt says so!
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No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
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“She had a good run. Hell, she was almost 15.” - my dog talking about Phyllis Diller
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falling in love is for frogs and spiders
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There is no pee in pizza. Or on it. At least there shouldn't be Phil. What the fuck dude?
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That was a serious moment brought to you by why aren't you in bed by now anyway and stop reading our Tweets.
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Mastering twitter is just mind over doesn't matter.
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Twitter injury.
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Dear Life: Thanks for the shit! -Courtesy Flush
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I see I've still got my 5 star average *rolls eyes* ..!..
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Being a bully doesn't make you right. Making me cry doesn't make you right. And I might care but I will not be treated badly by anyone.
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Asked our 7yo daughter to hit her mute button. She said she didn't have one, only a crazy & stop button. Smh!
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What the fuck, over
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My favourite sex position is WOW... that's when I flip your MOM over ...
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I just read your bio and I don’t like your rules.
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Okay, everybody just fucking back off. Unless you're going to try to make us laugh, keep your @-hole shut for the rest of the night.
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gonna go huntin this weekend with my peeps
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When people see me out and about they always ask "shit the bed?" What does that even mean?
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Nothing quite beats that unexpected gufforwph giggle of drink spraying your screen
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i wish i had a flying couch
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Social convention can suck it, yo.
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I've no patience for mechanical things that break. Next time car won't start, I will cut off top, fill it with dirt and use as a planter.
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Unemployed people don't shower, right? I just want to make sure I'm doing this right.
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I just realized that this is basically having sex with our phones. Or with words. Whichever is less pathetic.
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I have 666 followers. I'm pretty sure that makes me the Satan of Twitter, or something, I don't know. It's too damn early.
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Yeah! I'm a little frivolous hurry. Many times I throw my phone in my pocket unlocked, and Tokyo receive calls from my underwear.
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'I don't think there's a place where people understand loneliness more than here.'
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No skills or talent for anything whatsoever? Welcome to twitter.
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Having a profession is the world's oldest form of prostitution.
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I can't wait to get this over with and go back to doing the shit I love...coffee,the internet and video games.And touching myself.
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Newbies, you don't wait for followers, you go get them.
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I respect and admire those who don't let the crap here bother them. No more or less however, than those that do.
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i wouldn't be such a hypochondriac if I didn't have so many different ailments that modern medical scanners can't even detect.
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If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping in a closed room with a mosquito. - African Proverb ♥
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Here we are just floating around in space without Spock just wondering where our next freaky orgy is going to come from. captain out
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So you're gonna collect for a couple of months, then look for a job. I'm surprised they laid-off a person with your kind of ambition.
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If I were a turtle where would I be....
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"Blake! Great to see you! Haven't seen you in years. So what have you been up to?" *kickflips onto shark to safety*
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If there were a college course on the theological implications of flossing, I'd take it.
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Sometimes i forget how to spell a word so i re-word the whole tweet just to avoid using that word.
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If you stumble.. make it part of your dance ~Unknown
#LoveScopes ♥ -
I slept almost all day yesterday, because fuck it.
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The part of the story no-one talks about is that Goldilocks was the reason Mama Bear & Papa Bear slept in separate beds...
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There was a time when I would've married Gloria Estefan if she'd asked.
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Does anyone else make up nasty lyrics to Christmas songs but keep 'em to yourself because that's the mature thing to do?
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When I wear a hat I only have to do the bottom half of my hair but live in fear of having to sing the National Anthem & remove it.
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she mumbled blue & violet cellophane words that jumbled 2gether to form a star that disappeared into the bunnys ear hoppin them into the sky
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"I have always depended on the kindness of strangers." -- Debbie Does Dallas
#RightQuoteWroteMovie -
Uh, actually I said "olive juice."
#LetsMakeItAwkward -
Multiple accounts, pretending and interacting with their other accounts. You always tell on yourselves. Keep going. Please. Eats popcorn*
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Star ... star ... star ... and ohhhhhh I'd like to give that one 5 stars! *running my fingers down your Timeline*
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When people stress tweet, they don't harm anyone but others do get a view into the dark minds of people that should be talking to a shrink.
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My favorite episode of Friends is that one where Monica is a condescending bitch and treats Chandler like her non-equal.
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It's easier to climb the mountain of madness than be sliding down the stairway to boredom.
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Hittin' tha "follow" button sans usin' the proper safety precautions, not checkin' for diseases and shit. That.
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Your tweets are as good as the reciprocity you're owed.
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I am the drunkest person in this Starbucks!
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I don't need someone to make my life easier. Just better.
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Would it kill some of you to be nicer? Let's hope so.
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Must spend less time with my dogs. Haven't bitten the mailman yet but I am starting to circle three times before sitting down.
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~ "The point is not to pay back kindness but to pass it on." – Julia Alvarez ♥
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“We accept the love we think we deserve.” ― Stephen Chbosky ♥
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Spent a small fortune on pipes back when i became addicted to plumbers crack.
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So yeah, I made another account where I go tweet about how bad I need sex and come play decent here. Brilliant!
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Who wants to come and do this fucking laundry with me? I blow job.
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Lets see 16+8 carry the 1...nope still equals bitchface buttgobbler, move along
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oh look there is swiss chard growing in my garden bucket and i will pick it and put it in my quesadilla and i am a glorious cavewoman
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If we don't tweet, how are we sure we exist?
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Reason #583 why I shouldn't clean: I bent over to get something out from under the couch, and now my tooth hurts.
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Today I got snow tires,nail polish ,pushup bra What does it say about me ?! I'm ready for anything
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"The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity." – Amelia Earhart ♥
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Some Tweeps get xcited bout cats Some ova d moon about dogs Some lassies wear flats Some high on clogs Worst part of pets Picking up logs
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I bring you the gift of these four words: I believe in you~ Blaise Pascal
#LoveScopes ♥
Speedbumpity
Kellye
gordon
Dolores
Jibber.Ish
Hushpuppy 5¢
KayRants
freckle face
N
truly
alex carbajal
not so funny bunny
Orpheus Descending
Jesus Jaramillo
LoveScopes
Anonymous Vagabond
FrauFickenDammt
Tanya Johnston
Don Pearyawn
Scott Taylor
Paul
indie claws
SpaceSquirrel
TheDollyLama
Carla Whaat
Copulaterman
R_N
Willowbottom
Theodora Chester
System Failure
blunder rated
Šoul (v╪) Λmplified
AngelLJ
cynthiazolamOverdose
Nickels
Darth Kitteus
Lilly
WhatserName
Tweeter B-32
Evil Schwartzie
Rainbow Brite
Suggestible Dave
Wonder Twin
Mare Bytes
The Amiest Amy
mediocrechick
Indian Bread Maker
snicky
Gone
Jason
Just Call Me Frank™©
meat tenderizer™
Chris Sherk
Phrasemaker
Sparcosis
Crash Ferrari
Tink
Pam
Nuclear Bavarian
Mark
aGirlNamedNikki
Jimmer Cork-Bottle
Blakey Pants
ClumzyVixen
Peach Grenade
Joe the Drummer
Scarlett Fever
wonderhellchic
Green M&M's rule!
Stu, For Real
Kent Renepogel Snr
Cheeky Ninja, yo!
Shimmy
nature's mom
Miz Jules
Susan W
Emily Gray
Mandy Moe
J
D๑l๑ur๑usPurplεHæz
Pam Nabea
Uncle JP the Janitor
Obi ian Kenobi
Rotusbrossum
The Narrator
Elizabeth
Dusty Hume
From the desk of ...
Julie
CatasTrophy
PrincessCandyEmpire
Tortured_soul
Mytwoscentz
Vocally Harsh
Lala W
Labels: #ftwot, #gaf, #gsoav, #jsntf, #tbot, tweets, twitter
posted by Taranonymous Reads Not the Book of Tweet @ 4:18 PM
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